Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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