She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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