Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
