whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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