are you so shy because you have an std?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
