If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
