The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
