is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
