For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
