who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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