We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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