Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
