i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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