just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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