Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
