is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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