Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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