it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
