They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
