cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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