someone get that fucking seahorse.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
