pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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