I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
