You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
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