If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
