Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
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dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
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I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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