I think my vagina is haunted
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
