Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
