i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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