actually, I'm a sock model
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
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