i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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