i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
