yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
