I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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