I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
