Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
