a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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