he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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