Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
When are your genitals available?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
