He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
