so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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