he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So apparently I’m into choking now
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
