youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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