I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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