Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
