I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
