mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
