i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
