R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
