My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
