I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize