He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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