The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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