omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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