I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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