i just had sex bonerless
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
