Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
