ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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