we're chasing vodka with high fives
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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