i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize