I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
