can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
