Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
