who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
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