no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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