Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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