I'm drive I can fine osifer
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
