why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Is her dick bigger than yours?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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