Is it because I queefed?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
