I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
is wine microwaveable?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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